Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I am available for nakedness
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
