i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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