I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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