...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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