i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
