Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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