Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
