wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
