I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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