i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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