Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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