You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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