Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
