JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I haven't been this sober since birth.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
