He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
