Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
