I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
