Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
