puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
