So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I woke up under a house in Key West
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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