I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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