Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
even my farts smell like vagina
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
