It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
