I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
