Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
