i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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