Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
