You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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