Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
it glows. i had to have it.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
