i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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