That reminds me...we need to get swords
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
