Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
