turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
