Don't worry. I has chaperone.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
