honey bunches of taint.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
