i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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