oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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