The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
