Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
