is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
