I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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