forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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