I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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