girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
