I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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