how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Randomize
