I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
