Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
