Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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