like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
