I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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